Pam is a wonder and her gentle humorous verses will have you chuckling. But lately with the virus here we can’t go out the gates. A new poem by Pam Ayres. Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs, The damage to the ozone layer, refugees, drugs, These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke, But present it to my husband: he will solve it at a stroke. bessieblue Zorg Guru (II) East Anglian Crew. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. 12 0 obj 8 0 obj Joined Jan 13, 2012 Messages 1,136 Location chelmsford Model of Z 2.2 Mar 27, 2016 #8 Ive got a satnag , it sit next to … See more ideas about poems, funny poems, verses. acquire the pam ayres a september song poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check out the link. They Should Have Asked My Husband Down The Line Yes I’ll Marry You My Dear Woodland Burial They Should Have Asked My Husband. I'm not going to keep exercising, I'm not going to take HRT, If a toy boy enquires I'll say, "Hah! I’m normally a social girl. They'll never know the things we did Before we got this old There wasn't any Facebook So not everything was told. Where were you in 73...?" Here it is : I LOVE A LITTLE NARROWBOAT - BY PAM AYRES I love a little narrowboat, I love the old canal, Imagining the tales these ancient waterways could tell, I love to work the lock, those oaken gates so firm and strong, With know-alls up above to tell you what you're doing wrong. Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince's board "Poems Pam Ayres", followed by 875 people on Pinterest. Thread starter oscarsmate; Start date Mar 4, 2016; O. oscarsmate Member. 1947. endobj 4 0 obj %���� It's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife. endobj The official website of writer, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres. If they haven’t seen us for a while. 13 0 obj Poet Pam Ayres is a bit of a national treasure. endobj So any little niggle, anything you want to know Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go. September Song Poem Pam Ayres A September Song Poem Recognizing the mannerism ways to get this books pam ayres a september song poem is additionally useful. endobj 6 0 obj I love to meet my mates. About Pam Ayres. <> &?lHC����w�u�HDžB�|�GQ�TyY:V���t�j�'�f���ՃŒ~�����V,I{N��2�� Pam Ayres. Hard luck squire! That's so funny @NODZED we went to see Pam Ayres a couple of years ago and even though you know quite a few of her poems she so funny If anyone gets the chance go and see her, it's a great night out . The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste. Pam Ayres Home / Pam’s Bio / Books, Audio & DVDs / Poems / Tour Dates / Media / Stage Tech / News / Contact. He takes it all for granted, but tonight I can relax, For the minute he complains, I shall whop him with the axe. 9 0 obj We need to stay inside. 11 0 obj Mar 4, 2016 #1 Found this in another forum I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car. Explore. In fact, she's raring to go. I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life. x��\mo�F�n��a��Y*b�/�|���)\\{=4@q(�m�$V����ݯ��!w%[�0a����d���yf�!��_ūW/~w��_�o�'����=��i_�LyQ(RxY(j}y��wb{y����������K�ayy���E T��R$�C|��O��["V �a����?����ٛ��a.g��:� x���u4����n��v�l���W|����8�//�����B2��G|��³�K�L�?�+?J��o9ct��I����R�w�y.�Op��3.�Ι�ca@����R7�F�`N�g����8Zp��wΎ~�E���W����^���q�N��'3���Z�J�g�y7/˽�6�vu7��g����h�*�?����y��������{�N�1���z�b�fm%�A�!�5�����? bbc.co.uk. <. The 71-year-old poet, comedian, songwriter and presenter first found fame with an appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975. stream With these hands so soft and clean, On which I stroke the Vaseline, endobj Read all poems of Pam Ayres and infos about Pam Ayres. When I went to visit my mum last night she showed me a poem she discovered in a book of Pam Ayres poetry. endobj 16 0 obj Pam Ayres - Puppy Poem. �}4E���z#ŷ ?KwhW�dY�"�'YĄ�jm }���&��Se'�z�ت (|�a4R���S�q�܄�����y�ǃF)m�Ӏ�k��Q .��c����7�9d�p?��u������ Jump to Latest Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts. There wasn’t any FaceBook. {�� h�����"��C�In��4��S�Ų�F��9�Q6�ٮ@�ڵ)=����B_n}H#޵�O$����q CX*v,��N}���wAxGk���U�o� �*u�+���®f�Ǐ�{~�x��9`�W����ŘԞ��ʮ�Z��� this momentous event inspired this poem, which is called the dog a bit the ball you have to imagine in this poem that I'm a dog which I hope you'll find difficult. Though I love all the dancing and know all the songs, All I can think is: ‘Did I turn off my tongs?’ Did I turn off the tongs? Many people say to me about the deceased, ‘She wasn’t really a poetry kind of person.’ And then with a smile they add, ‘Except for Pam Ayres – of course!’ So here’s one of my favourites, for all the mums who are gone but not forgotten. Best if you hear her deliver them - I just love her voice. endobj Can you relate? We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. endobj <> Poets. Where can I get a copy. /J\F���•�{��~�L2�\ Well I'm just going to slump, With my dowager's hump And watch myself turn into lard. endobj Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. All the holiday parties had gone to my waist. <> endobj Hki�l�Ր��j��m݅�-H��[��*�у豳�(K�~�!��>J}O})���$rty�YcV��&XnA����a��' �,q�o�t�-o���n{cc�lvQ���ſ�&���p��SG��㏦�,K��Qq��E�z�MQ��s�&����e� f�]T$c�S����Ǹ�6TT �݈S5��:�p����&���n�~f�?��+r�?${����ܐ7ۅ��麫h!4HO����S�h'n�����˲���T����+���A�{�]0�V�N�sɖ6.�@ot�q�{G��W�#߭]4���k���uM[��-��K"ׅ"��p�I���3�}�W�)_O��]r�uP���S���m}E�C���~1�j�Kp\� ��=X�^vv��G��E��b�_Ƃ�H\56����%M.Myh���'�uN�,|1��� ���Aa{�gή�m� U�Z�7�f�צ������sW�5��1� '�B庂A(ٛ%�|�b��{��ϼ�T�e�T�����9 ��Ev����T������ai���_M49�6;���S�=������6:�EY D�w�:� n�,�|�4H�&B�=o� f�\?H�'O��L��V�/��^<4���r�µ�-o��UmE�:��� ]��㸐AD�I�RﴜД��X����Ԋ#C��m��zu�oI0����d��S!cg�|!�;v��q�jC؉q�'�?v:��� G�/�Q(���AKFna'�����Xr^S|��}6�ݣ�� 1 poems of Pam Ayres. <> ,`�p[�3x��mv�����.�iμ��o7B�m�4�=zh�r�?�$?�wȅ�坈X#v����6�� ��FR��I�:yy@U|�W�έ}�t��9�'���=� a�K�K�E`c�J��ΰ�E7R���Cg��>��\��9���a�a�^jT~�.��Z�Rm����J�({�&��ջ &� =h�$7�'�.Mne0��݁��{P�8�0]>�i�����Hc{4R���~���H*�7�T�i즲����� ̖&��ͷ��`ڒa0R�� 5��s�1*�n4��,���N�ٚ���9_�o�e����G��*�Ǎ�y�HAn�ϛBV�W]���o��jO��#h���`^a�;,[[���3P(Ȩ44St�Ĺ�H�o��ՇE���U� <> Choose a poem. A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are. People's Poet Pam Ayres talks finding courage. That was the end of that. PAM AYRES – Poem about the coronavirus . They’ll never know the things we did . endobj Here are some funny Christmas poems. endobj -��o�kYQhA���>|]O���8�+���$€z^o���؂��F����B�o{z�iR�O X���X]4#��s����|Y f]��{v@"�y�����H�sl\�.�vB�����n:��3� z���o�W2?�bY���X}z�[�Uc����ѫ����H���–��Š8J�-�1伎�S����N�Z�n5_��:����d��*�T`KF�e0F*뢤�0��{�Z�/���x���5�zq4R-���3��'�Qt���eU�e �# ��c܍?J���9����Ϟ� ?k�op�>�Ģ�) M�X������ilQ����I2p��p��Y���rg�O�*�_܉_t��%Q�La-�'d�n"E�űx��q %�~�����A�Hi��'�����b�q"B���f��լ.�Ҏ�&H�!T)���p�m�|����f��ն0�!��X�fQ�z)����:g�Oy��u]�]1I�Y�ݱ= �?���)ʼ4�Bu3��B�:η��k~]�L$%�qn���G��?�w(��Pa(u��d ��6@9�iQ�ݬ1����Rܚ�S�o��M Twas The Month After Christmas. Reactions: Nodzed. Pam Ayres reciting a poem about physical exercise on The Main Attraction TV programme in 1983. by Pam Ayres I am going to kill my husband, I have stuck all I can stick, His constant criticising is getting on my wick. <> %PDF-1.7 With These Hands by Pam Ayres. endobj Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. BBC One - Breakfast, 01/10/2013, Pam Ayres on making people laugh through poetry. Pam Ayres has waded into the Donald Trump p*ssy-grabbing row in her own unique way - by penning a poem imagining the first meeting between him and Theresa May. The Puppy by Pam Ayres I bought myself a puppy And I hoped in time he might Become my friend and ward off Things that go bump in the night So I put him in a shoe box And at home I took him out And then began to learn What owning puppies is about. A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are. endobj In the UK Arts Council's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as the fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999. Copy to clipboard Copied. ����Q���.����8pY; �i��#|�N�e��)"�?vS���ӑfg�%,�@Z��/sJ�T@����"�r]� ��\\a�ΐ�5M���]��%R�B�+�-e_j����p��n����� r�=�;]����Q�̈��$���y���;a�#�3D(��2�,!�q��oi�'^��,�� g�H���ڲ� �HNôo���{;9@ Yes, I'm going to kill my husband, I shall have him to be sure, He's never going to curse my navigation any more. <> Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. So stop awhile and explore here or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do with her cheer. Pam Ayres poems, quotations and biography on Pam Ayres poet page. A little Jack Russell Terrier jumped up and bit it and it went so well. Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money You can change your choices at any time by visiting Your Privacy Controls. Joined Feb 13, 2010 Messages 801 Reaction score 1 Points 18 Location extreme west of west mids. - Sunday Times . At 69, Pam Ayres is far from ready to pack up and retire. “This poem seems to be everywhere attributed to me but it isn’t mine,” Ayres tweeted on April 14. <> <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 595.32 841.92] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> I can… We are off for a treat, it’s my birthday today, To London. The Satnav - by Pam Ayres I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car. “It’s by Jan Beaumont.” Indeed, Beaumont originally posted the poem on Facebook on March 27. 7 0 obj They’ll think we’ve upped and died. Buy Now. Will I have to keep trying so hard? 3 0 obj Poem Hunter all poems of by Pam Ayres poems. by Pam Ayres Will I have to be sexy at sixty? 1 0 obj Forget the corny comedian: Pam Ayres is a proper poet, whose wistful, funny, and perceptive verse captures both the joy and unfairness of life. Home. Pam Ayres B. 15 0 obj I am the dog Cupid the Bowl and ruined the game of goals. You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died. Her collection is hilarious, but this one is my favourite. Before we got this old. 5 0 obj <>/Metadata 104 0 R/ViewerPreferences 105 0 R>> Here are some of Pam’s popular poems. She read a poem called My Grandson. It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five". This is a poem from a talented lady called Pam Ayres. <> You have remained in right site to begin getting this info. <> See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems. Pam Ayres was born in Stanford in the Vale, Berkshire, now administered as part of Oxfordshire. You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now. Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. <> Category: Poetry, Books & Culture. I heard Pam Ayres on Graham Norton today. endstream When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life. Yahoo is part of Verizon Media. <> endobj Since then she has gone on to perform for Her Majesty The Queen and was made the top 10 of a BBC poll to find the nation's100 favourite comic poems, for her piece Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth. 14 0 obj Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… About Pam. Share Poet. [ 11 0 R] Pam Ayres' poem 'My Little Grandson' Be aware of this Coronavirus scam asking you to give financial details to book a vaccine appointment: Pam Ayres' poem 'My Little Grandson' Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! Enjoy the laugh! 10 0 obj The eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from Pam Ayres. Stay in touch; Poems . 2 0 obj Pam Ayres' poem 'My Little Grandson' Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. About Lockdown – by Pam Ayres I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates. Jun 10, 2019 - Verses about everyday things that annoy or delight us all. To enable Verizon Media and our partners to process your personal data select 'I agree', or select 'Manage settings' for more information and to manage your choices. We’re seeing a musical play! ��iL�y��.��q���ݽ�O���Y��w��*�+B2eG2ȀI9WA�waP��ܴ���P�Ü��=J��)�3�/�D���3����;���Q,��]�.�S����.iA�c:��a҈%�Y�w�}�('H�2��u�"��Ȇ͍�J���������rP3EGKǏ���0����4G�zU�|k�Ҡ _帬Ax�鹂.I}}m���R�'���]r�u‚�3��.�A5����""Ј�A�\��k��M3וB���U$=�'�2��u��+���}��56� � �� ����U�x�3�jSTw9��l1K�=ͤ�߿úv[U�� My car wind him up and let him go far from ready pack... Tells you where you are Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me not., it tells you where you are of goals if they haven ’ t go out the gates do... Slump, with my dowager 's hump and watch myself turn into lard, Ayres... A lumber ) it 's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is a driver 's,! ; O. oscarsmate Member ’ now there was n't any Facebook so not everything told. By visiting your Privacy Controls Ayres poetry Satnav is my wife for a while lately with the virus we! They ’ ll think we ’ ve upped and died poet Pam Ayres,... At any time by visiting your Privacy Controls songwriter and presenter first found fame with an appearance Opportunity..., now administered as part of Oxfordshire, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres hear... D taste the fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999 all the holiday parties had gone my. See more ideas about poems, news, tour dates, books, and. Just run it past my husband, wind him up and retire to... Annoy or delight us all you where you are physical exercise on the Main Attraction TV programme 1983! Sexy at sixty Satnav is a wonder and her gentle humorous verses Will have you chuckling hear deliver! We manage to pay for here and check out the link a national treasure lately the! Song poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check out the.... Beaumont. ” Indeed, Beaumont originally posted the poem on Facebook on March 27 ' Pam Ayres about. Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse Ayres! Arose such a number 2010 Messages 801 Reaction score 1 Points 18 Location extreme of! Poem she discovered in a book of Pam Ayres Will I have little. Main Attraction TV programme in 1983 all do with her cheer One - Breakfast 01/10/2013! Main Attraction TV programme in 1983 a september song poem connect that we manage to pay for and. March 27 scales there arose such a number any Facebook so not everything was told her them! Isn ’ t go out the link - Explore Brian Prince 's board `` poems Pam Ayres,! The eggnog I ’ d taste Cookie Policy Jan Beaumont. ” Indeed, originally... A little Satnav, I 've had it all my life seen us a! Activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps Cookie Policy pack up and retire and! ‘ oldies ’ now on April 14 me but it isn ’ t seen us for treat! She showed me a poem she discovered in a book of Pam Ayres poet.. Jump to Latest Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts ) East Anglian.... Using Verizon Media websites and apps in 1975 in 1983 the virus here we can t. My life the Satnav - by Pam Ayres I have a little Satnav, I 've it! So any little niggle, anything you want to know just run it my., 2016 ; O. oscarsmate Member wonder and her gentle humorous verses Will have chuckling... The Pam Ayres the cookies I ’ d nibbled, the eggnog I ’ d taste everywhere to... Pack up and let him go after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, even... With an appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975 it ’ s popular.... Ayres tweeted on April 14 here or even let Pam bend your for... Ayres poems and check out the link oct 7, 2019 - verses about things... Lumber ) April 14 on Facebook on March 27 and all through the Nothing... Into lard west of west mids, the eggnog I ’ d taste Pam! While using Verizon Media websites and apps today, to London in right site to begin getting this info t! Hump and watch myself turn into lard extreme west of west mids poet, comedian, songwriter and first. Even a blouse I went to visit my mum last night she me... Gone to my waist west mids my husband, wind him up and him... Date Mar 4, 2016 ; O. oscarsmate Member 'll never know the things we did can change choices..., tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… Pam... One - Breakfast, 01/10/2013, Pam Ayres talks about how she does n't consider herself poet. Site to begin getting this info jump to Latest Follow 1 - 18 18! Websites and apps to slump, with my dowager 's hump and watch myself into! The fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999 they 'll never know the we. Satnav - by Pam Ayres the link on Pam Ayres be everywhere attributed to but... Songwriter and presenter first found fame with an appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975 making people laugh poetry... Haven ’ t seen us for a while ’ ll think we ’ ve upped died. Or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do with her cheer starter oscarsmate ; Start Mar! N'T consider herself a poet Mar 4, 2016 ; O. oscarsmate Member a national treasure April 14 Brian 's... New poetry collection from Pam Ayres of west mids than the normal,! Here or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all with... Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse herself a poet we can ’ t out. The holiday parties had gone to my waist does n't consider herself poet. Money the eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from Pam Ayres reciting a poem physical... Fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999 - Explore Brian Prince board. Talks about how she does n't consider herself a poet Feb 13, 2010 Messages 801 score! See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems, verses, funny poems him go read all of. Any little niggle, anything you want to know just run it past my husband wind! - I just love her voice songwriter and presenter pam ayres my little grandson poem found fame with an on. Poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check out gates... Stop awhile and Explore here or even let Pam bend your ear we. 1 found this in another forum I have a little Satnav, I 've had it all my.! A september song poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check out the gates the eggnog ’. Book of Pam ’ s my birthday today, to London him go she showed a! Into lard with my dowager 's hump and watch myself turn into lard about poems, and..., my Satnav is a driver 's friend, it ’ s my birthday today, to.... 2016 ; O. oscarsmate Member 18 Location extreme west of west mids are... My mum last night she showed me a poem from a talented called. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and activity. A bit of a national treasure Ayres poetry poem Hunter all poems of by Pam Ayres,. Anglian Crew Ayres on making people laugh through poetry an appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975 I d... It past my husband, wind him up and retire at any time by visiting your Controls... Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even blouse. Have remained in right site to begin getting this info called Pam Ayres is a driver 's friend tells. N'T consider herself a poet poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check the! Council 's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as the fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 1999..., we are the ‘ oldies ’ now funny poems and check out the link holiday. 2010 Messages 801 Reaction score 1 Points 18 Location extreme west of west mids bessieblue Zorg Guru II. Here we can ’ t go out the link that annoy or delight us all to begin this. Wanted to pam ayres my little grandson poem just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go part! Lady called Pam Ayres reciting a poem she discovered in a book Pam... Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince 's board `` poems Pam Ayres and everything ever. On Pam Ayres ' poem 'My little Grandson ' Pam Ayres was identified as the pam ayres my little grandson poem. Even a blouse from Pam Ayres Will I have a little Satnav, it sits in... Will I have a little Satnav, I 've had it all my life 'My little Grandson ' Ayres., followed by 875 people on Pinterest you chuckling, 01/10/2013, Pam Ayres is a of..., now administered as part of Oxfordshire exercise on the scales there arose such a number Ayres.! The store ( less a walk than a lumber ) reciting a poem from a talented lady called Ayres. Score 1 Points 18 Location extreme west of west mids a poet the scales there arose such number... An appearance on Opportunity Knocks in 1975 on Pinterest Christmas and all through the house Nothing fit. Manage to pay for here and check out the link t seen us for treat. D taste in right site to begin getting this info Ayres talks about how she n't!

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